You Don’t Lack The Time, You Lack The Interest

Instead of pretending to be interested, try to admit to yourself and others what it really is. Stop fooling others and especially yourself. You don’t lack the time, you lack interest and that’s okay.

Do you often apologize on the grounds that you don’t have time? In reality, you don’t lack the time, you lack interest.

In fact, you can always take your time for the things that are important to you. Some people tend to use a lack of time as an excuse for things they are not interested in.

For example, you’re invited to dinner with friends but don’t feel like going there. Maybe  you are tired or there are other things you would rather do.

Then you may say things like, “Oh, I’m so sorry, but I can’t come. I have no time.”

Your friends will likely believe you. However, if that answer becomes a regular excuse, they will realize that something is wrong.

Don’t pretend you’re interested

Pretending you’re interested in something or someone and at the same time making excuses why you can’t come along or do something  is presenting yourself in a way that doesn’t fit who you really are.

You want to come across as good to others. This is how you were raised: not to say “no” and not to withdraw from things that are high priority or seem right to others.

However, there can be a difference between the things that you personally want to do and the things that society considers important. If you don’t want to hang out with your friends because you just don’t feel like it right now, just say it! But don’t make excuses. If they are true friends, they will understand.

The worst thing about excuses is not that you know how to use them, but  that you yourself start to believe this lie and it becomes part of you.

It happens very often. After all, since childhood you have learned to do justice to others instead of listening to your own needs.

You can say “no” without feeling bad about it

You haven’t learned to say what you want, to show what you need and to say “no” when something is not good for you.

You have been taught to say “yes” to everything and then come up with excuses if it doesn’t match your own needs. You are trying to keep up appearances while lying to yourself and others.

If you say “no” it may make you feel bad. Not only are you rejecting something, but you are also afraid of other people’s reactions.

By denying your own needs, you are creating an unrealistic world around you. First of all, you don’t admit what you really want to others. Then you assume that whatever you ask for, you will get a “yes” back. Remember,  just because you compromise on your own needs doesn’t mean that others will do the same for you.

It only causes problems when you say yes and then wriggle yourself out with an excuse. Has this happened to you before?

If so, your friends will find that it’s okay if it happens once, and maybe the second time, too, but  if it happens over and over, it is a sign of a lack of interest.

This can make you feel guilty. It is a sign for you to change something. Becoming aware of your behavior is a good step in the right direction so that you start to behave differently and identify not the time but the interest as the reason for your behavior.

This is how you will begin to realize what you really want.

Start being yourself when you don’t have the time but the interest

Start expressing your lack of interest with other people, in groups, or in other scenarios whenever you feel like it.

You don’t have to make up excuses anymore. You don’t have to worry anymore that you’ve used an excuse too often – or that you will be exposed!

Lack of time was a good scapegoat, but isn’t it time to be honest? Remember, while doing the opposite yourself, you expect the same from others.

Say “no” when you lack interest and refuse to do something you don’t want to. Most importantly, be honest with people who want to hang out with you so that you don’t hurt their feelings.

Others are free to know if you don’t feel like doing something. You no longer need to lie to yourself and others by making up excuses, because you don’t lack the time, but the interest.

It is better to be yourself without fear of other people’s reactions.